In the Eyes of the Beast: Chapter Three

It was probably around noon the next day when I realized I had fucked up big. The sun was staring real hard, burning my pale skin like a motherfucker. I always burnt easily, and unfortunately I didn’t have any sunscreen or clothes to cover up with. I could remember my friends making fun of me when we used to drive up to Lake Huron, calling me Mr. Appeal. Look, they weren’t the brightest people, and neither was I. Don’t judge me for it. The thing had relaxed its gaze a bit, enough that I could somewhat enjoy the light breeze blowing through, and I felt my eyes start to close.

I woke suddenly, as if my body was trying to tell me something. It smelled like smoke, You ever get that? Just wake up random as hell, feeling like something important happened and you just missed it? Well, that urgency was what made my heart start to race, and I ran inside, looking for Kate. Her stuff was gone, and I grabbed a cigarette to calm myself and think of where she might have tried to run off to. The thing wasn’t pissed, so she hadn’t tried to leave the property through the fence. Thankfully, she was a little smarter than that. Or even dumber than I thought. I couldn’t find the lighter at first, scattering my kitchen and pulling up cushions to see where the hell it had gone. That’s when I realized what she was up to, and immediately ran out the door.

God fucking damn it. This girl was going to get herself smashed to bits. I was just in time, it seemed. I could see smoke rising in the distance above the treeline. Shit. The first thing I thought of was to make another fire to cancel hers out, but she had the only lighter, and I had lost my tinder box weeks ago when the beast had thrown a temper tantrum. There was just no way this could work, but she didn’t know that. I figured that the shock of that night would leave her shaken for a few days, and that she wouldn’t try anything for some time. That’s how it was for me, at least. She was different though, and I gotta admit, for a girl from the city, she had some guts.

I raced towards the smoke, some of the thornier bushes pricking me along the way, brushing against poison ivy. Why wasn’t it mad? Something like this was big. Almost as big as when it had nearly killed me, and that day I could remember the rolling waves of fury that had battered my mind. But it was calm. So oddly calm. The fire was spreading quickly, and by the time I reached ground zero, I knew it was unstoppable. She was nowhere to be found, and the fire had begun to roar as it devoured the trees around me. Maybe she had snuck past me and returned to the house. I knew her plan this far, but couldn’t think of what the endgame was. She had asked if it slept. Maybe she figured since it came out at night it slept during the day, but I knew that to not be generally true.

The connection was two-way. It wasn’t as powerful as it wanted me to believe. As time progresed, I had managed to focus on it in a way. It wasn’t consistent, but it did sleep. And that’s when I had made my move that day. The day I learned I would never go free. I turned around, readying myself to head back. Standing in my way amongst the flames was a man, but he wasn’t human. There was no hair or blemish on his face or arms, none that I could see. He wore a soft buttoned up blazer with jeans, a white shirt underneath. Even without the hair thing, you might have figured him for an ordinary person, but he had no nose. And his eyes, it was the eyes that confirmed exactly what I knew in my heart. Almost exactly as dad had described him. They were the same as the beast’s. Cold, black, empty except for the flames dancing in the reflection of them.

He held Kate in his arms, and he smiled at me. He walked towards me, and I backed up reflexively. I’m not ashamed to admit when I’m scared, and I was downright terrified. The smile looked unnatural on its face, like it had practiced it, but didn’t really understand what the emotion was. Emotion just didn’t belong on that thing. The fires danced behind me, and I could feel their heat. There was nowhere to go. I stood there as he continued to approach. I closed my eyes and bowed my head. Even in whatever form it was in now, I could feel the heat of its rancid breath bear down on me, overpowering the smell and the heat of the flames surrounding us.

”Take her, and follow me.”

I felt it push her into my arms, and I opened my eyes. It was maybe a few inches away from me, its eyes so intent they stopped the air from leaving my lungs. I closed my eyes again, unable to endure the sheer terror of matching its gaze. I heard the sound of the fire die off, the heat suddenly vanishing, and opened my eyes again. The fire had been snuffed out, and the man had been replaced by a small white rabbit that sat expectantly next to a tree. It hopped slowly, never once looking back at me. There was never a question of whether or not I would obey, just a matter of how long it would take. Kate woke up a few minutes later as we neared the yard. She opened her eyes, seeing my face above her should have been a horrifying sight alone, but she didn’t seem too worried about that.

She was smart enough not to say anything, seeing my eyes was enough confirmation. She mouthed an apology, but I just shook my head.

”My fault,” I mouthed back. I should have warned her the little trick wouldn’t work. I should have made her fully aware of just what this thing was capable of, told her everything, told her how I had tried to escape, but I figured she would take it as an excuse to try something reckless. Well, she had done that anyways. Go figure. At least she had the decency to look embarrassed about the whole thing. I never would have pegged her as the blushing type, but her face was as red as cranberry sauce.

I turned my attention back to the beast. It hippity-hopped its way ahead like some twisted guide, and if I ignored the months of solitude and the constant threat upon my life as well as the constant vigilance of an unknown entity, I could pretend I was a knight carrying the princess back to her kingdom with the help of my trusty animal companion. If you couldn’t tell already, I’ve been alone for a long time. My imagination tends to go places. Plus, I’ve seen Shrek like fifty times by this point, although I don’t think the beast would like it much if I were to yell out “Donkey” right now.

We reached the front yard, home sweet home, and it hopped up on the porch, turning about and staring at me with its beady black eyes, resting calmly upon its little haunches. I waited for it to say something, but it only bore its eyes into me, and I felt Kate dig into my arm as she started to shake out of fear. I wasn’t doing much better, truth be told. Gulping hard, I walked up the wooden steps onto the porch next to it and turned to the side, waiting to see if it would command us any further. It stared at us for what must have been another ten minutes, then hopped down and off into the woods without incident, and that was that. I didn’t get the feeling that it intended to see us for the rest of the day, which was strange. Whenever I did something, I wasn’t supposed to do, punishment was swift and certain. If anything, it seemed like it was only making sure we returned home safely. Kate coughed politely, looking up at me a little strangely, and I put her down with a quick mumbled apology.

I didn’t feel its attention all that much, which was another anomaly, but with a final glance I turned my attention away from the beast and the forest for now. There was something else of concern to address, namely a suicidal city girl who happened to moonlight as an arsonist.

She stood off to the side, shielding her eyes from the sun, looking at the forest with a thoughtful look on her face. She saw me looking, my arms folded, and she folded them right back, glaring at me as if I’d wronged her. “What? If you have something to say, go ahead. I’m not apologizing, but feel free to complain.” Ah. That’s how she wanted to play it. Well, unlucky for her I’d experience in this situation. One of my exes used to be like this. There was a surefire trick to dealing with that kind of hostility. Not really surefire, but probably about 80 percent success rate. Better odds than trying to use reason and logic.

I sighed, reaching out a hand and she flinched, but all I did was brush away some dirt she had on her face lightly, her jaw nearly dropping, and went inside, closing the door behind me. I sat down on the couch, counting silently. It would only take a couple more seconds. Right on cue she walked through the door, a confused look on her face as she sat down as well, bent forward, hands clasped and fiddling. I let her fester a little. When someone fucks up, they’re usually pretty aware. You can yell at ‘em, yeah, but I’ve always found letting the silence eat away at their conscience and taking the Disappointed Dad route to be most effective. Worked on me plenty growing up, at least.

”Look, I had to do something, OK?” she finally said, biting her lip and leaning back, running her hands through her scalp. I had to admit she was cute when she looked all guilty and stressed. Jesus. What the hell was wrong with me? Probably needed to beat one off at some point today, though I doubted I’d get much of an opportunity.

”Sure."

"We gained valuable information. Did you know it could transform? Or stop fires?"

"Nope,” I said, play-jamming on the couch, my eyes closed and humming Through the Fire and Flames. Fuck did that matter? The thing could put out fires with a wave of its hand. Hell, even in rabbit form it could probably fuck me up good and proper.

”You don’t seem to think any of what happened today is of any importance,” she said flatly. My blood was positively boiling, but I kept it cool. She wanted a fight, wanted to shift some of the blame to me, and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna let her.

”Like I said, I think we just need to keep our heads down for a bit. You can heat up some stuff in the fridge if you’re hungry,” I said, standing up and walking to my gun, then heading outside. “Try not to set the house on fire.” Low hanging fruit, I know, but sometimes you’ve got to do it no matter how petty it is. It wasn’t all that bright out luckily, and I didn’t bother grabbing my hat as I sat on the porch, rocking in my chair. I scanned the horizon, relieved to still be free of the beast’s gaze for now. Sometimes I could pretend that I really was just out here to relax in the house my father had so graciously left me. The fucking asshole. He thought he could just apologize and that would absolve him of what he had done to me?

I realized I was tapping my foot mercilessly on the wood and regained control over it, letting it swing freely as I rocked. I never could sit still, especially when I was scared, angry, anxious or whatever, really. I never really bothered to get myself evaluated but after some light reading on the subject I figure I probably had ADHD or something. Made a lot of things make sense. Mind tended to wander a lot and—

“Hey,” said Kate from behind, the door groaning open. I didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t know. I’m just…” I heard her take in a healthy lungful of air, “just stressed. Feels like I’m a bird or something. I dunno.” she said, and I heard her sit down behind me.

”Wanna talk about it? I know I look like a ‘killer squatter’ and all-"

"I didn’t mean that,” she said quickly, “Can you just say, ‘It’s ok, I forgive you’ so we can move on already? Quit high-roading me."

"You’re awfully pushy for someone who wants forgiveness. Ever been to confession, Kate? Bear your sins and seek repentance, and that heavy ass monkey will climb down off your back."

"Not really. I wasn’t really all that religious growing up."

"Ah, your family didn’t practice?"

"Oh, they did. I didn’t, though."

"Hey, you don’t have to. Free country and all. Not so free down in the scorching flames of hell, though."

"Please, for all your talk of ‘Christian man’ and ‘god-fearing’,” she said, imitating my accent terribly, “you don’t strike me as the religious type either. Even if you are a rude hick."

"Hah,” I laughed, “You got me. What gave it away? Are we just two peas in a pod or you got some new-age strategy for picking out fellow non-believers?"

"No,” she said quietly, seriously. “Nothing like that. It’s just…” she hesitated, strangely enough. Didn’t think she was really the type to hesitate when she was set on speaking her mind.

”It’s just what?"

"You have this hopelessness about you. And I think it goes back to before this, too. In my experience people of faith tend to not have that problem as often.”

I was silent for a bit after that. She hit a little too close to home there.

”Well, thanks I guess. You’re a real cold woman, Kate."

"It’s not like…nevermind. Sorry. That thing’s not coming back tonight, right?” I shook my head no. “Good. I think I’m just going to turn in early today. I hope nobody comes. Night.” and she went back inside, leaving me with cottonmouth. I know I reacted badly. I’ve never been the best at talking about my feelings, especially when caught off guard like that. She had been so…different. I didn’t quite understand how, and that pissed me off. I felt like I was the bad guy here somehow, which didn’t make any sense because I had done nothing wrong. She had inquired a bit too far, I refused to budge, and we moved on. Completely adult. I think it was ‘cause she had been so vulnerable for just those few moments, and I hadn’t. Wouldn’t. I sighed. I was real good at figuring things out after the fact, understanding what I did wrong and apologizing for it, but it was also my greatest flaw. At some point, it doesn’t matter how sorry you are, how much penance you perform. You just need to have never made the mistake in the first place.